The One He Needs
by safijo
Summary: Arthur is having a hard time dealing with all his new responsibilities after becoming king, and he needs Merlin to help him through it. Set after 4x3 The Wicked Day.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

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**The One He Needs**

It was not until the darkest darkness of the night came creeping into the Arthur's chambers, several hours after he first intended to fall asleep, that the tightness in his chest started to remind him of all the duties he now held, and of how many people that counted on him. He had felt more or less fine during the day, or at least it had felt that things were manageable, that he would be able to work them out. Now, however, everything felt quite the opposite. He felt that he was drowning in a sea of duties and expectations that he could never live up to. The memory of his father slipping away in his arms was still an open wound, and along with the terrors he was now facing were he laid in his bed it felt unbearably painful. He needed his father to still be here because he was not ready to take over. He felt the air leave his lungs, but he could not draw new breaths deep enough to fill them again. He was the king and he was not allowed to feel like this. He had been taught since the day he was born that a king had to be strong. He could not let anyone see him weak, because then they would doubt him, and doubt amongst the people was treacherous.

A king was not allowed to cry, and yet Arthur felt that tears were dangerously close.

Suddenly the king sat up in his bed, feeling that if he lay there for another second he would suffocate. Even the idea of remaining in the room suddenly seemed impossible, and he hurried out through the door. He knew that he could not allow anyone to see him in this state, but he also knew that remaining in his chambers was equally impossible.

He had no idea where he was going, but his feet seemed to have some sort of plan that was not quite known by the rest of his being. Now it felt somewhat more possible to breathe, even if his chest still felt tight and his mind was bringing forwards only thoughts of the various tasks he must succeed in and the expectations he must live up to.

Suddenly, without quite knowing how it had happened, Arthur found himself outside the physician's chambers.

_Merlin._

The name entered his mind with a sense of safety that dulled the worst parts of his agitated condition. Merlin, his loyal servant, and, more importantly, though he would probably never admit it, his best friend and the single most important person in his life. The one he cared about, not out of duty, but out of friendship and love. The one person he knew that he could always trust, and also the one he knew would sacrifice everything for Arthur in a heartbeat, thus making Arthur terrified of losing him. He almost had on quite a few occasions. Still, he could never have gone on a quest without Merlin because he needed him by his side. It was as simple as that. He also knew that Merlin would never have remained behind when Arthur was not there. It was something that bound them together, something Arthur had never experienced with anyone else.

He wanted to go in through those doors, but his father's words were clear in his mind: "A king must not show weakness, and he must not need anyone." He was king now; he could not afford to be close to anyone. He also had no right to bother Merlin with these problems. However, the idea of being alone for another second became overwhelming and he opened the door carefully. He saw Gaius in his bed, fast asleep, and his feet seemed to act on their own accord again when he stole across the floor towards the door that would permit him to enter Merlin's chambers.

_Merlin_.

As Arthur opened that door he saw the young man sleeping in his bed, which was placed in the middle of his messy room. He did not know what to do next, and also his feet seemed to have run out of ideas, resulting in him simply standing there for a while.

Things felt slightly better just being there, and therefore he could not bring himself leave. Instead he walked over to Merlin's bed and settled down next to it, his back leaning towards it. He sat close to Merlin's head because then he could hear his breathing, and that calmed him. He was fully aware that his behavior was not acceptable for a king, but there was just nothing else he could do. He had to be there or he would not be able to handle it anymore. This was the only way he could cope.

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Merlin woke up in the middle of the night, something he never did without a reason. Before he had even got around to figuring out what time it was he realised that he was not alone. However, he was not startled by that notion because he knew who was there with him, even if he could not think of a reason for that person's being there. It was his king, his best friend, and the person that meant more to him than anything else in the world. And if he was in Merlin's chambers in the middle of the night, then something had to be very wrong.

Something had to be wrong, and something most certainly was wrong because Arthur's breathing should not be that heavy. He could only see the backside of the king's head from where laid in his bed. He did the only thing he could do and put his hand on the golden mane, stroking it carefully. He could feel Arthur flinch at the first touch, but after that he was still, his breathing still labored.

"Arthur?" Merlin whispered tentatively, but he got no response. He kept stroking his friend's hair while he was thinking about how he should handle this. He hated seeing Arthur in pain. He knew that Arthur had been hurting much lately, but the king had pushed everyone away, Merlin included. Yet here he was in Merlin's chambers in the middle of the night, and it could only mean one thing; things had finally become more than the King could handle alone.

With this realisation Merlin slid down from his bed and settled next to Arthur, who did nothing to acknowledge Merlin's even closer presence.

"Arthur?" he tried again but the result was not different this time. Merlin realised that what the king needed was to know that he was not alone, and therefore he but an arm around the shoulders of his best friend, and he also tugged gently at Arthur's head until it came to rest on his shoulder.

"We will work this out, Arthur. We always do."

With his friend's arm around him and with those words whispered softly in his ear, Arthur felt that things might actually work out. After all, they always did.

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**Thank you for reading! It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review and let me know what you think, especially since this is the first fanfiction I have published.**


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